Repeated rejection. A dwindling bank account. Endless, repetitive online applications. Is staying positive during a job search even possible?
Fortunately, there are some simple things you can do if you are having trouble staying positive in a job search, which will not only improve your mood while you search but very probably shorten your search. Many of these practices dovetail with what career coaches (like me) already recommend to succeed in your job search.
If you are really struggling with depression during your job search, please don’t hesitate to reach out for help! You are not alone. Looking for a job is tough and can be demoralizing, and everyone needs help sometimes.
The first five suggestions related to staying positive in a job search are inspired by Laurie Santos, a professor at Yale who hosts a free course called The Science of Well Being. Her advice about how to be happier in life has additional resonance for job seekers.
Get Connected
One very strong finding from the happiness research is that happier people are more social. There are implications here for job seekers.
Activate your network for greatly increased chances of success.
You may have heard that you need “connections” to find a job. This does NOT mean that you need to have an uncle who works for Microsoft, although that can’t hurt. What it DOES mean is that you benefit greatly from a broad network of people who can provide some type of support. That could be interview tips, inside knowledge about a hidden job at their company, or an actual referral for a job which makes you much more likely to land an interview.
There is even research that shows that your weak connections (i.e., people you don’t actually know, but they know someone your know) might be the most effective part of your network. That has certainly been my experience. The kindness of people who were essentially strangers has helped me to land multiple jobs.
Use your network to stay connected and for moral support.
If you don’t know others who are trying to stay positive during a long job search, you may feel like you are the only person who is having such a tough go of it. It’s human nature to retreat when we are feeling blue, but the sad irony is that when we most need the support is when we are least likely to seek it out.
The new landscape of social distancing and remote work have made it even harder to connect with others. But there are a few things you can try to make those networking and social connections:
Get help and stay connected using social networks.
Rather than doomscrollling and comparing yourself to others who seem more successful, you can harness one positive aspect of social media – connectivity. There are people out there who want to support you and lift you up.
For example, Reddit is built on subreddits or groups with generous folks who will review your resume, offer their perspective on your job search, or offer tips on their industry. There are also job seeker groups on Facebook (go to Groups and search “Job Search” or other relevant terms). These groups offer referrals, advice, and support.
LinkedIn is filled with people who are in the same boat as you, and also with people who can help you. There are a lot of job seekers who are turned off by the constant self-promotion on the platform, and there is a lot of that (as on many other platforms). To get the most out of LinkedIn, be proactive: Follow people, companies, and groups that really resonate with you, and unfollow people who rub you the wrong way (but stay connected). They won’t know you unfollowed them.
IMPORTANT: as with anything else, beware of scammers and others trying to take advantage of your vulnerable state. Ignore the “get rich quick/make lots of money at home/be your own boss” appeals as they are usually bogus. Also ignore the trolls, as they are everywhere.
Give Thanks
You may have heard of “gratitude journals,” the practice of writing down a few things each day that you are grateful for. Research shows that making a habit of writing down three to five things every day that you are grateful for can improve your happiness in a little as two weeks.
You may want to add to your list aspects of your professional life that you are grateful for. Have there been people in your network who have stepped up for you? Did you interact with one recruiter who treated you with respect like a valuable human being, even if you didn’t get the job? Are you currently employed, even if it’s a job you don’t love?
Be in the Moment
You may also be aware of mindfulness as a recommended practice for improved happiness and better mental health. One way to practice mindfulness is to set aside a specific time every day to practice meditation, which can be as simple as being in a quiet place, breathing in and out slowly, and paying attention to your breath and the thoughts that come and go. The goal is not to pretend that you aren’t experiencing anxiety and frustration in your search. Rather, the goal is to let those thoughts and feelings flow through you. Recognize them and let them go (as much as possible).
Rest and Move
This is a two-part recommendation. First, make sure you get enough sleep. Second, during your waking hours, be sure to do something active (which will – bonus! – help you sleep better). Both are proven mood-boosters.
Be Kind
While deep into a job search, it is easy to just focus on yourself and your own challenges. However, there are SO many other people who are going through the same thing, and I hope you connect with some of them by getting more social (even if only virtually). Your next step is to activate the true beauty of networking, which is helping others.
You may have heard the term “paying it forward,” and it applies here. If you seek out opportunities to help others, you will find multiple positive benefits to you. You don’t need to work at a food bank or shelter to help either, you can help other job seekers.
Here is a list of 27 ways you can help others as part of your professional networking.
The final recommendation relates to Positive Psychology, which encourages us to focus on all the strengths we have to offer, not on perceived deficits.
Focus on Your Strengths
Staying positive in a job search is tough, especially if you lose sight of your strengths.
It’s so easy to lose confidence while searching for a job, and that can be a death spiral: the less confidence you have, the less able you will be to convince hiring managers that you are the best choice to fill their open job. Women also tend to have less confidence when searching for jobs, so they are more handicapped from the get-go,
One way you can combat this is to take an assessment that will help you to identify your strengths and give you the language to talk about them to recruiters and hiring managers.
Two popular strengths assessments may help. The Gallup CliftonStrengths assessment focuses on your talents (a combination of skills and personal strengths) as they relate to the workplace. It’s widely used in organizations and knowing your Clifton Strengths may be helpful if you are interviewing with a company that uses the assessment in organizational development. The VIA Character Strengths Assessment is another popular assessment that focuses on character strengths that apply more holistically. Each is available to do on your own, with various levels of reports available for a small fee.
Boost your mood even more by getting some help! Schedule a free 15-minute introductory call to tell me what’s going on with you and discuss how I might be able to help you get over any job search obstacles.
